Demolition

I'm really not much of a poet... But I've had some lines running through my head and figured I'd try to use them. Since I know folks will ask - it's about the loss of a friendship. So here they are...

I built a shelter in my heart
Where you stayed with me on nights it was cold
You would lie beneath the blanket of my comfort
And take refuge in the words I spoke, soft and clear
The shelter constructed of shared experience and mutual respect,
Of support and dreams, it stood strong and inviting
Sometimes, you would stay for an hour, sometimes a day
And when we left to venture back into the stormy, dark weather of life
I didn’t weep, because I knew we would return
And when we did, I took solace in lending you my safe space

Though I knew you’d never stay for good,
I thought that I would always keep our shelter warm and ready
Assuming it was the one place where we were truly secure
Assuming you felt the same
Telling myself lies in the face of the obvious, painful truth
All for the sake of those hours I felt out of harm’s way
Realizing and ignoring that you took shelter where you could
That you found company and comfort where you could
That my words were nothing special
And your replies were never really mine

Even as you faded
Even as you waned
Even as you came less often and less open,
Those days I couldn’t bear to take down the walls of that place
I couldn’t think of letting my heart release you for good

But things have changed.
Now I believe you were never really as weak or as needful as you seemed
Nor as warm or as comforting as I had perceived you to be
It’s funny what people do when they feel cold
Searching for anything to provide warmth

You should never have stumbled into my shelter
I should never have opened the door