Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Yellow Trampoline

Last Thursday night, I dreamed of my cousin Miriam (Mim) bouncing on a yellow trampoline. Different from the one above, but you get the gyst. The trampoline was in the driveway of the home where Mim lived with my Aunt Kaye and my Papa when she was a kid. The old RV my grandfather owned parked on the right side, the trampoline on the left. It was all very vivid.

In the dream, as she bounced, she was laughing this outrageously happy giggle that filled up my sleeping ears and reverberated after I awoke. She was still a teenager in my dream, the way I remember her best. In bell bottom denim pants and a heathered t-shirt with piped sleeves. Her curly, crazy pigtails popping up and down by her face. Occasionally, she'd say the word "RISE" through her laughter. Clear as a bell, but wrapped in that intense laughter.

I called out to her, loud. But she didn't answer. She was so lost in what seemed a moment of profound joy. I called again before I woke up in my room, smiling.

My dad called a couple of hours later to tell me that Mim had passed away that morning after a long battle with breast cancer. I hadn't had any idea that the end was so near when I last spoke with her in early July.

I called my Aunt Kaye yesterday. I felt it important for her to know about my dream. My Aunt Kaye believes in the sensitivity some of us (including Mim) have - those connections to the things we cannot see. So I told her about the dream.

And she said, quiety. "Isn't that funny. Two weeks ago, someone gave us a big yellow trampoline. Mim thought it would be good for her daughers and Ann (her sister) to use. It's out in the yard by your grandfather's old RV."

So here's the thing. It's got me thinking of the "what happens" after. After this - the here and now - I mean... And about whether there never really is an after - just a now that we "live" in different ways. And about whether I should continue to welcome in and in turn pass on the things I sometimes know - from dreams or feelings... It's always been easy to let them in - it's the saying it out loud that I struggle with.

But the yellow trampoline is just another confirmation for me that time and our measurement of it are just things dreamed up by humans to define what we can never really define and that the reality of our reality is that you never really know what IS REAL.

I do know though, that Mim is resting (or bouncing, as the case may be) peacefully. That she left this time/place/reality to take the next step - and that she did it with some level of joy in her heart.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Give me Food!

Me me...

1. How do you like your eggs?
Sunny side up. Or scrambled. Or omeleted.

2. How do you take your coffee/tea?
I don't take coffee/tea.

3. Favorite breakfast food:
I like any breakfast food. Eggs, bacon, hash, pancakes... I like it all... Yummy.

4. Peanut butter:
Yummy. Yummy. Creamy, crunchy. Doesn't matter. Yummy. Just not the one with the teddy bear on the label.

5. What kind of dressing on your salad?
I like any of the balsamic based spray kinds they've got out there now.

6. Coke or Pepsi?
Neither. TAB, please.

7. You’re feeling lazy. What do you make?
PB and J or Turkey on wheat.

8. You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order?
White. If they don't have white, I'm not eating the pizza.

9. You feel like cooking. What do you make?
Favorites? I'd say some kind of meat (beef or pork) - veggies (carrots and turnips mashed, preferably), salad with peppers and onions - garlic bread with cheese and then white cake with white frosting for dessert.

10. Do any foods bring back good memories?
Italian Ice. Pudding pops.

11. Do any foods bring back bad memories?
Yogurt. Blech.
That peanut butter with the Teddy Bear on the side. Double blech.

12. Do any foods remind you of someone?

13. Is there a food you refuse to eat?
See #11. And tomato And any kind of beet. Blech.

14. What was your favorite food as a child?
Baked sausage and potato with applesauce.

15. Is there a food that you hated as a child but now like?
Nope. My tastes haven't matured at all.

16. Is there a food that you liked as a child but now hate?
Not really, nope.

17. Favorite fruit and vegetable:
Melons, orange, kiwi, pear, apple, banana. Actually, when it comes to fruit - I like anything except grape, plum, peach... Veggies: peppers, onions, brocoli, cauliflower, carrots, turnips, squash.

18. Favorite junk food:
White cake, white frosting. Hostess Orange Cupcakes.

19. Favorite between meal snack:
Nothing really.

20. Do you have any weird food habits?
Sure do.

21. You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on?
Water. Fruit.

22. You’re off your diet. Now what would you like?
Everything in site - except the foods listed on my do not eat list above.

23. How spicy do you order Indian/Thai?
Not so much.

24. Can I get you a drink?
Yes, sure you can.

25. Red or White Wine?
White or blush, please.

26. Favorite dessert?
See above # 18.

27. The perfect nightcap?
Eye of the Storm.