Friday, October 06, 2006

Tired


What a week this has been.

My father was up from South Carolina trying to get his house signed over to its new owners - there was a lot of garbage to be moved out and to the dump or other appropriate places, it took a long time and I worked until I was sore. Bob's B-day was Sunday. We moved my brother and his family to a new apartment on Saturday, that day, I also worked until I was sore.

Not to mention all the bad news.

This Mark Foley business has me completely sick to my stomach. I really should be in disbelief - that people sworn to protect the public good would keep a guy they knew might be a threat to kids in office (and in a position working with children's advocacy groups, no less) - but I'm not shocked at all. It's just par for our Nation's miserable course - a course on which politics mean more than people.

The school shootings - especially the one in Amish country - leave me shaking my head at the pure bad/evil that walks amongst us. It is terrifying. But in the midst of the terror, there is still hope - provided courtesy of the families of the young girls who were slaughtered in that schoolhouse in Pennsylvania. They have urged forgiveness - and have led the efforts to support the shooter's family. They have opened their doors to those the killer left behind. In the heart of an unfathomably horrible situation, they have turned on the lights of their faith and provided warmth for their community - and for a nation that doesn't see enough forgivness, that doesn't see enough grace.

The war in Iraq continues on - and more soldiers die everyday. With more and more information surfacing about how ill-conceived this action was and is and how utterly unneccesary it was and is, it is beyond any words I could find to express how angry and frustrated it makes me to think about it. And our president blathers on like a trained ape with a parrot on his shoulder - continually repeating - "everything is fine, we're making progress, they'll steal our freedom..." Meanwhile, gas prices drop and I wonder if my pleasure at seeing my gas bill decrease is as disgustingly selfish as it feels.

Oh - and I feel like I'm back to my 1980s Cold War childhood. I wonder how long until shows like "Jericho" become as pervasive as movies like "The Day After" were during my childhood. And I know when it happens, it will be art imitating what's possible, as the threat of some dire nuclear disaster or war - at the hands of or against North Korea or some other county we've angered - becomes all too likely.

And, as I worry over everything around me, my diabetes has decided to start on a tear.

In the last week, I have seen:
*Way too many high bloodsugars
*3 bloodsugars below 30 (22, 29, 20), plus one 31
*A severely infected pump site - which required me to receive a shot in the bum. Yes, in the bum. Of an antibiotic. That stung like the blazes as it was injected. I am following up that shot with oral antibiotic for 10 days. The infection is looking much better today - on day 3.

I swear I have seasonal affective disorder. I've got a bunch of the syptoms. One night a week ago - I woke up in our house (which was at 68 degrees that night) and could not get warm. My teeth were chattering. I got under another blanket. I still shivered. I got up and got one more blanket, which finally quelled the freezy feeling I had. Luckily, we've not had a repeat of the chills. However, I have just not been feeling like me lately. It's as if my head has been occupied by some other - less comfortable and confident person. And my head has ached on and off - with one migraine coming down like a hammer and causing me to have to leave work. The doctor has run some bloodwork - it appears there is nothing physically wrong with me. So, whatever it is, we theorize, just might be in my head. And the winter is starting to dawn and my body rebels because the winter brings the dark and the increased worry and the cold and the well - you know - the winter.

I am tired. I'll admit it. I'd like a break from things. The news, the diabetes, my work. I'd like a break.

9 comments:

George said...

I know, this week has been a terrible one. Let's hope next week is much better.

I hope you start feeling better.

art-sweet said...

I was remembering the 80's this week too. The fear we lived in all the time. And how I feel that way again now.

Hope you feel better soon. You're not alone with this crap, if that's any consolation.

Rachel said...

Hope the blahs go away soon. Easier said than done, knowing that it's what I'm going through right now, too. My main defense against them is to avoid the news.

I've had the chills on-off for a week or so, too, but I've been chalking it up to my thyroid potentially being off. But maybe it is just the wacky weather shifts we have had here. (Most of Sept was chilly, then we had a couple weeks of warm, summery weather, now back to chilly.)

Shannon said...

Ying and yang.....

The bad will be counteracted by good.

Hang in there :)

Sandra Miller said...

Oh Nicole--

I know what you mean.

Last week, while dreading Joseph's upcoming endo visit, and battling the bugs-- all hell seemed to break loose (as you so eloquently describe here).

But it's a new week. And yeah, there's still a lot of awful going on, but something good always seems to crop up to help pull you through.

Hang in there,

Sandra

julia said...

* The Mark Foley thing disgusts me, too.
* The Amish people's response to the school shootings is more than I could do in that situation.
* I noticed that they were re-running The Day After and Reds recently on one of the movie channels. Oy.
* Have you had your thyroid checked? I think being cold all the time is a symptom of a screwed up thyroid.

Here's hoping things improve. Soon.

bethany said...

sometimes a break is all we need. atleast that's usually the best thing for me ... even if it's only for 30 minutes - usually it'll atleast get me through the rest of the day. good luck! and feel better soon!

Kerri. said...

As of today, I think I've officially caught your "Blahs."

Here's hoping the clouds part.

Shannon said...

Hi Nicole,

I saw your comment on Kerri's blog. How are you feeling? I hope you weren't badly hurt.

I can't access emails because I don't have a normal email account through netscape, so could you email me to let me know how you're doing?