CuriousGirl

Online Plagiarism

2010-12-08T13:26:00.000-08:00

The poet mentioned in this post finally contacted me to say that she stands by her work, that poetry posted on Myspace or Facebook isn't "published work" and that her poem was published online in draft form when was still in the midst of the "creative process", and that I should be ashamed of myself for putting her poem in this post without crediting it. I disagree, for obvious reasons.

What I have done is simply added some screen shots of the work as it appeared on my Facebook page and her Myspace page, along with the snippets that appeared in both works. Fair warning, I am now naming someone here in this post and I won't blame anyone for not scrolling through if you're not comfortable with that. She also removed the poem from her Myspace page. I stand by the contention that she stole work from me.

I sigh as I write this, because I really wish I didn't have to do it. I wish I felt comfortable just ignoring recent events and going about my merry way.

The thing is, online communities, especially online communities like the Diabetes Community are based in trust. We pour our hearts and souls into blog posts, essays, stories and poetry and we put those pieces out their for the world to see. I don't expect that I can trust anyone outside of the community to not steal the work that's presented, but I feel like within the walls of the community, I shouldn't have to wonder if something I've written is going to end up showing up in someone else's work.

I tried to contact the person I address below by email, with no response. We had had a bit of a falling out earlier this year over another matter, but I basically just asked for an explanation (maybe I had missed something?). I also reached out (without naming any names) on Facebook for advice, and I got two private responses from other community member who'd shared similar experiences or had similar concerns with the same blogger. It was those community members' shared experiences that actually signaled for me that this is of real concern to our community as a whole.

So, I write this with a heavy heart - but also with a message that if you're writing online, you must understand that trust is sometimes violated and you must (unfortunately) keep an eye out for your own writing and the writing of others in the community.

Recently, it was pointed out to me that a fellow diabetes logger had "lifted" some lines from a poem I'd posted on Facebook awhile back (in May 2009). In August 2009, this blogger posted a poem on another site (Myspace) that contained full lines of what I'd written - in a piece with an essence completely different from my poem.

Screenshots:

Of my poem - dated May 2009:

Of Amylia Grace's poem - dated August 2009:

Snippets lifted from my poem:

Untitled - by Nicole Purcell (April 3, 2009)

She opens the door

Quiet heart aching

And their (her?) house

Breathes out
His smell

She thinks she hears him
Say her name

Again

She knows better
Than to imagine that way

****

Snippets as they appeared in Amylia Grace's poem on August 21, 2009

She
opens the front door, heart
still crowded with longing as
the house breaths out his smell.

to think she hears him
say her name again, soft like grass swishing
at water’s edge. She knows better than to imagine.
that way.

Blogging Again...

2010-12-01T19:31:00.000-08:00

So, if anyone is still out there... I've been doing a ton of blogging lately at dlife. Check out if you like:

On being really low.

On the Language of the Broken.

On Being an Athlete.

Check them out, and many others if you like.

:)

Life Goes On....

2010-06-22T14:39:00.000-07:00

So, life goes on. And so do I. I'm actually, in general, very very happy.

Dealing with idiots aside, things couldn't be better.

But those idiots rear their ugly heads all too regularly.

Anyone have one of those whack-a-mole hammers?

Getting Back On Track

2010-02-28T19:02:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, you get derailed - what counts is how you get back on track, right?

Hoping you'll check out my new post on dlife.

It's about just that - getting back on track!

Gifts....

2009-12-22T06:38:00.001-08:00

Hope you'll cruise on over to Blogabetes today - for a post about gifts...

That post leads to a recording of an essay I wrote for Rhode Island Public Radio's This I Believe program.

It'll air tomorrow at 6:35 and 8:35 am and at 5:45 pm - on 102.7 FM in Southern Rhode Island and 1290 AM in Providence and online, streaming live at www.wrni.org. If you can't listen live, please visit the This I Believe page to hear the essay!

Happy Holidays - much love to you all.

Favor from the OC (Did you hear that echo???)

2009-11-24T18:11:00.001-08:00

I know it's been quiet around here of late!

But, I'm still alive.... :)

And I'm hoping that you might do me a favor... And maybe yourself too!

My boyfriend's band is in a battle of the bands competition. They could win a trip to Las Vegas for a gig. And guess what? Just by voting, you get a chance to win a trip as well.

The band name is The Gobshites. Though the thing is, the contest makers have dubbed them The Gobsh1tes. Apparently, the name of the band didn't sit well with them!

So if you go here

Register - it takes two seconds.

And then vote for The Gobsh1tes. If you do it, I'll be for-ever and ever and ever grateful!!!!

Sooo....

2009-07-21T13:06:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile. Life seems to change every day. Ever feel like the definition of home isn't actually set until you're back to where you started from? (And I mean "started from" literally) Well, that's kinda where I'm at.

My heart is all swirly, twittery, achy.

My head is filled with dreams - both fulfilled and yet to be. Filled with certainty and uncertainty. Filled with laughter and tears and so many other things.

My body is being less than cooperative, as is usually the case when my heart is twirling and my head is filled.

But I'm here - and I'm alive - and I'm working and playing and writing and loving.

And that last seems to matter most.

Hope all is well for you. Stay tuned for more here and at Blogabetes very, very soon.

I promise.

I need a break

2009-06-11T19:23:00.001-07:00

So. Tired. More. Here.

Intimate...

2009-05-30T19:22:00.001-07:00

A post about intimacy... Here... Hope you'll check it out.

Achievement

2009-05-26T08:02:00.001-07:00

Hopefully, you'll check this out at Blogabetes... It's about nothing stopping us!

A1C

2009-05-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

We were issued a challenge over at Blogabetes. The gauntlet thrown...

Now you tell me - how does the A1C result make YOU feel??

So FREAKING EXCITED!!!

2009-03-08T14:01:00.000-07:00

See here for more on the excitement...

CGMS and Disclosure

2009-02-21T17:55:00.000-08:00

Some new things over at Blogabetes if you care to read!

I'm working on getting a CGMS and I talk about disclosure in the workplace...

Hope you'll take a gander.

New Things....

2009-02-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

All things new today at Blogabetes...

Hope you'll take a look!

Joining the Conversation

2009-02-06T09:22:00.000-08:00

So - there's an interesting discussion happening over at Blogabetes - it's about hating (or loving) diabetes. Being something I feel strongly about - I posted on the topic today. I hope you'll read - and agree or disagree...

On A Roll

2009-01-08T14:32:00.000-08:00

I'm on a roll.

Post #3 for the New Year up at Blogabetes.

Where I (sort of) answer the question: How did that happen?

Purple Passion and Follow Through...

2009-01-07T14:53:00.001-08:00

You know you want to know...

Hey! Are you out there?

2009-01-07T08:54:00.000-08:00

If you're interested, I've actually gone and posted something new here... Please forgive my long absence and check it out!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

2008-12-04T07:07:00.000-08:00

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Paper, please.

2. Real tree or artificial? Neither - a Christmas Branch please. One branch, with some yarn around it sitting in a beer can with one bulb. No mess. No fuss.

3. When do you put up the tree? Around December 22nd, if it gets up at all.

4. When do you take the tree down? March or April. Sometimes.

5. Do you like eggnog? Gross.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? A bike. Yellow, banana boat seat with bees and yellow and black flowers on it. Basket on the front. Bell. Ding. Ding. Best Christmas Gift. Ever.

7. Hardest person to buy for? Mom

8. Easiest person to buy for? Milton

9. Do you have a nativity scene? No. I have a Christmas Branch...

10. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? Christmas Cards? Um. Haven't quite gotten to those last couple of years. Now, I did buy some Valentine Cards last year, but they are still sitting on the counter at home.

12. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story or A Charlie Brown Christmas.

13. When do you start shopping? Around December 10-12.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No. Awful thing to do.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Whatever is put in front of me to inhale.

16. Lights on the tree? No tree.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Fairytale of New York by the Pogues with Kirsty MacCall

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Both.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Yes. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder, Blitzen. And Rudolph.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? We have a branch.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? A little of both.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Money. Time.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? We have a branch. And the bulb that's on it is red.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Anything. Roast, turkey, ham.... YUM!

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? I don't really need anything. And I don't want for much these days.

Recalls? Cures? Calls from the Family....

2008-11-19T12:02:00.000-08:00

Calls from the Family.

That's the topic of today for me.

For Your Amusement...

2008-11-18T12:34:00.000-08:00

A recording from a LONG time ago made with my good friend Adam's 'project' (ie: Adam and his Casio Keyboard) called Bi-Anal Sandwich. It's called Girl with Pink Eyes - my first foray into the world of animated voice! Enjoy...

Pink Eyes | Upload Music

Victory....

2008-11-18T08:27:00.001-08:00

An update on last week's insurance woes... Here!

World Diabetes Day

2008-11-14T09:56:00.001-08:00

Hope you'll take a look here...

Pump Woes...

2008-11-13T13:10:00.000-08:00

Ugh.

Pump Woes... Read more here...

Boyfriend...

2008-11-11T08:52:00.000-08:00

I have a new "boyfriend..." Shhhhhh... Don't tell Bob.

I also proved to myself that I have a "type" when someone told me - "he looks a lot like that other guy you like, the one from Law & Order CI." Sue me... I like odd looking men.

Mark Ruffalo - swoon!

You Go Parents with D!!! And - a note about comments...

2008-11-08T19:26:00.001-08:00

So - looky here! Parents with D - and your advocacy made the front page of Yahoo today! Since the link isn't stagnant - I just did a screen shot, but if you head over to www.yahoo.com, you might just see this:

Also - I am not ignoring comments. Somehow blogger isn't letting me know about them - damn you, blogger!

Heidi - my Cavalier is white. And G-money - I saw your meme! Yay meme!

One Word...

2008-10-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

Now you post if you want to...

1. Where is your cell phone? Bag?
2. Your significant other? Wonderful
3. Your Hair? Dark
4. Your Skin? Gothic
5. Your mother? Kind
6. Your favorite thing? Home
7. Your dream last night? Creepy
8. Your favorite drink? TAB
9. Your dream/goal? Ambitious
10. The room you’re in? Office
11. Your ex? Useless
12. Your fear? Failure
13.Where do you want to be in 6 years? Home
14.Where were you last night? Jamestown
15.What you’re not? Quiet
16.Muffins? Nope
17.One of your wish list items? Radio
18.Where you grew up? Massachusetts
19.The last thing you did? Typed
20.What are you wearing? Clothes
21.Your TV? Off
22.Your pets? Rosie
23. Your computer? Painful
24. Your life? Swampish
25. Your mood? Bored
26. Missing someone? Always
27. Your car? Cavalier
28. Something you’re not wearing? Socks
29. Favorite Store? Bunches
30. Your summer? Gone :(
31. Like someone? Indeed
32. Your favorite color? Black
33. When is the last time you laughed? Today
34. Last time you cried? Forget
35. Who will respond to this? Dunno
36. Whose answers are you anxious to see? Everyone's

That time of year....

2008-10-22T08:53:00.000-07:00

When offices are filled with foil-wrapped candy (like chocolate eyeballs!) and cookies and stuff that generally doesn't agree with healthy eating...

And it's dark all. the. time.

And it's cold.

And people have colds.

It's that time of year... Read more here!

Trying to get back on track...

2008-10-17T08:48:00.001-07:00

Long and winding road. That's what this life is.

I am totally out of sync... And working to get back on track...

Read more here...

I wish had something more uplifting to post....

2008-10-13T15:16:00.000-07:00

But OUCH!

Please had over to blogabetes and read about the nasty time I've been having with my pump sites of late.

Freaking Ow-EEE!

Thank you and a request

2008-10-02T18:05:00.000-07:00

First, I want to say thank you to all who commented on my last post with your condolences and love. It is just amazing how supportive and filled with grace this community is. I hope you all know just how much appreciate the boosts you give me in this life. They make all the difference in the world. I know that Mim has moved on to some place free from the pain that had imprisoned her for too many of her final days - I hope that she will continue to bring those of us who love her signs and symbols from whereever/whatever she is now. We'll miss her deeply.

Mim was a cousin on my father's side, but my parents families were from the same neighborhoods - and my mother's sister, my Aunt Kathy, spent a ton of time with Mim and her sister Ann when they were growing up. I know that Mim's death has left her feeling a little lost. She wanted to do something to remember Mim in a positive way that would make a real difference. She asked if I might want to walk with her for Making Strides Against Breast Cancer two weeks from Saturday. We'll walk in Mim's memory - we'll walk to ensure that fewer - and hopefully, someday no - families will have to bear the sadness of the loss of their mother, their sister, their cousin, their friend to breast cancer.

I know the economy sucks. And I know many of you are raising your own money to fight diabetes or to support causes that you believe in. Thank you for the difference you make.

I hope you'll consider contributing to support my Aunty Kathy and I as we remember Mim.

You can donate here:

Fighting for Mim

Every bit will make a difference. And if you can't donate - please continue to think of us - especially Mim's daughters as they struggle with the loss of their mom.

Thank you again, my good (internet weirdo) friends.

The Yellow Trampoline

2008-09-30T09:00:00.001-07:00

Last Thursday night, I dreamed of my cousin Miriam (Mim) bouncing on a yellow trampoline. Different from the one above, but you get the gyst. The trampoline was in the driveway of the home where Mim lived with my Aunt Kaye and my Papa when she was a kid. The old RV my grandfather owned parked on the right side, the trampoline on the left. It was all very vivid.

In the dream, as she bounced, she was laughing this outrageously happy giggle that filled up my sleeping ears and reverberated after I awoke. She was still a teenager in my dream, the way I remember her best. In bell bottom denim pants and a heathered t-shirt with piped sleeves. Her curly, crazy pigtails popping up and down by her face. Occasionally, she'd say the word "RISE" through her laughter. Clear as a bell, but wrapped in that intense laughter.

I called out to her, loud. But she didn't answer. She was so lost in what seemed a moment of profound joy. I called again before I woke up in my room, smiling.

My dad called a couple of hours later to tell me that Mim had passed away that morning after a long battle with breast cancer. I hadn't had any idea that the end was so near when I last spoke with her in early July.

I called my Aunt Kaye yesterday. I felt it important for her to know about my dream. My Aunt Kaye believes in the sensitivity some of us (including Mim) have - those connections to the things we cannot see. So I told her about the dream.

And she said, quiety. "Isn't that funny. Two weeks ago, someone gave us a big yellow trampoline. Mim thought it would be good for her daughers and Ann (her sister) to use. It's out in the yard by your grandfather's old RV."

So here's the thing. It's got me thinking of the "what happens" after. After this - the here and now - I mean... And about whether there never really is an after - just a now that we "live" in different ways. And about whether I should continue to welcome in and in turn pass on the things I sometimes know - from dreams or feelings... It's always been easy to let them in - it's the saying it out loud that I struggle with.

But the yellow trampoline is just another confirmation for me that time and our measurement of it are just things dreamed up by humans to define what we can never really define and that the reality of our reality is that you never really know what IS REAL.

I do know though, that Mim is resting (or bouncing, as the case may be) peacefully. That she left this time/place/reality to take the next step - and that she did it with some level of joy in her heart.

Give me Food!

2008-09-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

Me me...

1. How do you like your eggs?
Sunny side up. Or scrambled. Or omeleted.

2. How do you take your coffee/tea?
I don't take coffee/tea.

3. Favorite breakfast food:
I like any breakfast food. Eggs, bacon, hash, pancakes... I like it all... Yummy.

4. Peanut butter:
Yummy. Yummy. Creamy, crunchy. Doesn't matter. Yummy. Just not the one with the teddy bear on the label.

5. What kind of dressing on your salad?
I like any of the balsamic based spray kinds they've got out there now.

6. Coke or Pepsi?
Neither. TAB, please.

7. You’re feeling lazy. What do you make?
PB and J or Turkey on wheat.

8. You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order?
White. If they don't have white, I'm not eating the pizza.

9. You feel like cooking. What do you make?
Favorites? I'd say some kind of meat (beef or pork) - veggies (carrots and turnips mashed, preferably), salad with peppers and onions - garlic bread with cheese and then white cake with white frosting for dessert.

10. Do any foods bring back good memories?
Italian Ice. Pudding pops.

11. Do any foods bring back bad memories?
Yogurt. Blech.
That peanut butter with the Teddy Bear on the side. Double blech.

12. Do any foods remind you of someone?
Yes.

13. Is there a food you refuse to eat?
See #11. And tomato And any kind of beet. Blech.

14. What was your favorite food as a child?
Baked sausage and potato with applesauce.

15. Is there a food that you hated as a child but now like?
Nope. My tastes haven't matured at all.

16. Is there a food that you liked as a child but now hate?
Not really, nope.

17. Favorite fruit and vegetable:
Melons, orange, kiwi, pear, apple, banana. Actually, when it comes to fruit - I like anything except grape, plum, peach... Veggies: peppers, onions, brocoli, cauliflower, carrots, turnips, squash.

18. Favorite junk food:
White cake, white frosting. Hostess Orange Cupcakes.

19. Favorite between meal snack:
Nothing really.

20. Do you have any weird food habits?
Sure do.

21. You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on?
Water. Fruit.

22. You’re off your diet. Now what would you like?
Everything in site - except the foods listed on my do not eat list above.

23. How spicy do you order Indian/Thai?
Not so much.

24. Can I get you a drink?
Yes, sure you can.

25. Red or White Wine?
White or blush, please.

26. Favorite dessert?
See above # 18.

27. The perfect nightcap?
Eye of the Storm.

Long Overdue - Wavesense Keynote

2008-08-28T06:34:00.001-07:00

Awhile ago, I was contacted by the folks at Agamatrix, asking if I would be willing to use and then review their Wavesense Keynote meter - pictured above. I agreed, they sent me a bunch of cool stuff, and I used said stuff, and now - finally - I'm writing a review.

So, I figured I'd break this down in bullets:

* Sample size
* Time for test
* Backlight
* User friendliness
* Memory capabilities
* Software

Sample size - The Keynote takes an eeny, teeny, weeny sample of blood. Seriously. I still use my fingers - to get the most accurate results I can - but it takes a very small blood droplet to get the Keynote working. Grade: A

Time for Test - Though the advertisements and the box say that the Keynote takes 3 seconds (results in 1... 2... 3...), it really is more like five seconds. There is a tiny lag between when the blood gets in the strip and when the offical countdown by the meter begins. I've timed it - it's five seconds in total (still among the fastest meters out there). Grade: B+

Backlight - I love any meter that has a backlight. On top of being helpful, it makes a good flashlight! With the Keynote, I wish the backlight stayed on througout the test. It's good that it turns on at the start, but it needs to be relit by the time you've got the blood drawn and ready to go. Also - I truly wish that there was some kind of light that lights the strip - because getting the blood into the strip in the dark can bet a total pain in the butt. Grade: B+

User friendliness - This machine is very user friendly. Programming time and date are a snap - coding is easy - and testing is completely self-explanatory. Grade: A

Memory capabilities - Stores enough bloodsugars in an easily accessible way - very useful without being overwhelming. Grade: B+

Software - I liked the software for this meter. Called "Zero-Click," I found it helpful in terms of how easy it was to use - and I thought it provided a few helpful reports. Overall, it's nothing over-the-top in terms of this type of software - and I really wish I could find something similar in terms of it's ease of use that would accomodate my pump data. Of course, that doesn't mean I'd log any more faithfully than I do now... (See earlier post at Blogabetes). All-in-all, it's an easy to use software package that allows for easy spotting of trends in bloodsugar. Grade: B

So, the Wavesense Keynote gets an overall grade of B+ from me.

To Log or Not to Log...

2008-08-25T08:38:00.000-07:00

That is the question...

And the topic of my blog post today at dlife. Check it out, if you like.

This is also a plug for my employer... Have I mentioned I work for one of the greatest theaters on earth? Yeah, I do... Trinity Rep in Providence... And we've got a fancy new website - with all sorts of talk-back opportunities. That photo up there? That's Stephen Thorne, one of our Resident Acting Company Members, as Hamlet... If you're ever in Providence - I guarantee we are well worth the cost of admission. Which is totally reasonable. Have I mentioned how awesome we are??

Very interesting...

2008-08-22T11:49:00.001-07:00

No - not a post about Communism.

A post about the ties that bind diabetics - even when they're strangers...

At blogabetes: Here!

Oh My God - Addicted to The Office

2008-08-15T19:13:00.003-07:00

For my recent birthday, Bob bought me The Office Seasons One and Two. I just bought myself Season Three and Direct TV has episodes of Season Four for 99 cents. Needless to say, it's been The Office-festival in my house for the past few days. I am addicted.

Jim Halpert is my boyfriend.

I love a clever guy.

We make s**t happen!!!

2008-08-14T21:07:00.000-07:00

So a big thank you and my arms out for big hugs for all of my D-O-C comrades...

The voting closed at www.kittenkoffinzombies.com tonight - with Shells Bells ahead by 17 votes. They won't make an official announcment right away - but it appears she won!!!!

And I'm grateful to all of you who voted - or who posted for me or who put up with my nagging and still voted...

Thanks so much!!! Hugs, kisses, and night nights...

See you tomorrow! Or today (sort of)....

OK - less than 2 hours to go!!!

2008-08-14T19:20:00.000-07:00

So, if you haven't voted yet - please, please do!

www.kittenkoffinzombies.com/contest.php - vote Shells Bells

And if you have voted - thank you! Thank you!

xoxo

Please Keep Voting!

2008-08-14T15:43:00.001-07:00

If you haven't already - please head on over here: www.kittenkoffinzombies.com/contest.php and vote for Shells Bells...

:) Please.

Thank you.

This Is It!!!!

2008-08-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

So, you all know my friend Shelley (Shells Bells) is trying to become the December Calendar Pinup at Kitten Koffin Zombies.

Well - voting ends tonight at midnight and we need your help to push her up and over the top.

So - please - if you haven't voted - head on over there now and do it! Here's the link: Kitten Koffin Zombies Contest...

And if it's been twenty four hours - please vote again... :)

I will be forever, and ever, and ever grateful!!!

xo - The Curious One

I Promise....

2008-08-12T12:16:00.000-07:00

No more of this after Friday!

But right now, my friend Shelley needs your help... So, please (pretty please with sugar (or ah, Splenda!) on top - head on over and cast a vote. If it's been twenty four hours - vote again! Please :)

And watch for a regular type post tomorrow...

OK - please vote! Here: Kitten Koffin Zombies Contest!

Forward to your friends! Forward to your family! Forward to anyone who appreciates a cute pin up girl!

Ladies and Gentleman of the D-O-C...

2008-08-10T08:02:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be great if this pretty - really nice - girl won a contest she was trying to win?

I think so.

If you haven't already - and you wouldn't mind doing so - please head on over here:

www.kittenkoffinzombies.com/contest.php

And vote for my friend Shells Bells.

She's truly a doll of a person - and it would be super duper sweet if she won!!! :)

Vote Again....

2008-08-05T12:45:00.001-07:00

It is my mission as a loyal citizen of Boston to get Shelley in the calendar for December... So, please if you haven't voted for my friend Shells Bells yet today - go ahead and do it. I will be FOREVER grateful... :)

It takes two seconds to register - then vote for Shells Bells...

Thanks again!!!

Calling the D-OC....

2008-08-03T10:59:00.000-07:00

Hey All -

If you wouldn't mind... Please take a second and head over to www.kittenkoffinzombies.com - and vote for our friend Shelley. She's not only a beautiful girl who clearly deserves to be Miss December - she's also a total doll.

Vote today! It takes two seconds to register - then vote for Shells Bells...

Thanks!!!

Private Story....

2008-07-28T09:30:00.001-07:00

I've posted something here - for those interested.

Pornography???

2008-07-27T12:49:00.000-07:00

So - the Firewall Filter at my weekend job has blocked Kerri's Six Until Me... And gives the reason for filter as: Pornography.

What the hell is Kerri up to over there? I guess I'll have to wait until I'm home to find out... LOL.

Left needing...

2008-07-24T09:53:00.000-07:00

Awhile ago, this meme was going around. I was going to do it - then didn't. Then I did it today and decided, it needs to be posted.

Google your name with the word needs (ie: Nicole needs) - post the results...

Nicole Needs a Stylist - Um. I hope not. But I guess sometimes, I might push the envelope and a stylist could push me back into non-insane wardrobe territory.

Nicole Needs No Food When She Can Shop 'Till She Drops - Not true. I always need food when I shop. Because I always end up low.

Nicole needs an Urban love nest - Because my rural love nest isn't good enough. Pfft. Google knows nothing about me.

Nicole Needs Money - Yes, indeed. I do.

Nicole Needs a Reality Show - Ooooo... Wouldn't it be fun to have a train wreck of a life on live TV??

Nicole Needs to Take a Pill - No. I take enough pills. I do not need any. more. pills.

I think I "need" to get a life...

The Dots...

2008-07-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

Diabetes and the Dots...

Dots from pump sites inspire a post about the other kind of dots... Read it here, if you'd like.

Skipping M for Now... On... To Nightmares...

2008-07-15T08:49:00.000-07:00

Ever have a diabetes nightmare?

I have them on occasion... I wrote about one over at Blogabetes today - take a look...

Shag carpet, pink chinese food, pump with a major leak... Total nightmare!

Picking Up Where I Left Off - "L" is for Laziness

2008-07-08T11:51:00.001-07:00

Please hop on over to Blogabetes today... It's about lazy. And Papa...

Taking Steps...

2008-07-03T10:48:00.000-07:00

Enough bitching and moaning... It was time for me to take some steps... Baby steps...

Read more at Blogabetes, if you like!

I've Lost My Mind, I Think....

2008-07-02T17:03:00.000-07:00

This for fifteen minutes:

Plus this for forty minutes:

Plus this for ten minutes:

And this for ten more:

Times three to four nights a week, plus one yoga class and weight training... Equals totally crazy.

I think some of the weight I've lost over the past year has included my mind...

You know who you look like?? Meme

2008-07-02T11:29:00.000-07:00

Here are the rules...

Post photos of people you've been told you look like. Name them. Then tell if you think you look like them...

Tag - whoever wants to play.

The first three are Faruza Balk. Or "That girl from the Craft" or "That girl from Waterboy." I think there's a vague resemblance here. The teeth, maybe the eyes. She's like 78 lbs soaking wet, though... Needless to say our body types are dissimilar...

The next two are Gloria Vanderbilt - young version. I get this comparison on and off - I don't think it's totally off-base. Again, she's super thin, but she's got the rounded cheek, puffy lip thing happening...

Next - Leslie Caron. I've heard this a few times. And I can really see it with this one. It's a little eerie, actually, as she aged she looked very much like my grandmother who I'm told often that I look like...

Bjork... The first time someone told me this I thought they were nuts. I guess there may be a VERY vague resemblance. VERY. VAGUE.

And finally, Ms. Natalie Merchant. Since Bob's opening line with me was "You know you look a lot like Natalie Merchant..." I sort of have to buy this one. And she looks a bit like Gloria Vanderbilt, in an odd sort of why... So perhaps there's something to it...

Writing...

2008-07-01T13:19:00.000-07:00

So sometimes I write things that aren't blog posts or work-related pieces...

This poem sort of crept out of nowhere... I think it's OK and I felt like sharing it...

There is fury in your dying
You open your arms to the next step
As if it were a lover
You look toward what's to come
As if it were a prize
And I watch powerless and afraid
Feeble in the face of your new companion

Raindrops beat on the window
I lean against the cold glass
Fingers tapping back at the rain
And the smell of dirt in my eyes
Moving with these tears
Useless. Wasted. Tears.
Because they won’t heal
They won’t cleanse
They won’t make you be again

Your skin is icy, white
My cheek pressed against the breast
That holds your halted heart
How can you be gone
I can still feel you
Laughing, singing, being
In the vast corral of memory
A gleaming speck that is the world

Now is after
Here is in the wake of
Before is something I have in dreams

There is fury in your dying

Your arms around the next step

And I look toward what's to come
As if it were a prize

Did it wrong...

2008-06-29T16:52:00.001-07:00

So the first time I did this... I did it wrong... I used Google - not Flickr... So here's my corrected version. Because I am slightly anal retentive.

Red Letter Day - And Off Track

2008-06-25T19:52:00.001-07:00

So first, today marks over quarter century for me and diabetes. 26 years. A long time...

And next - a post - at Blogabetes about being off track...

I hope this subsides soon. I'm just damned tired.

Back in Action...

2008-06-13T10:18:00.001-07:00

I've posted something over at Blogabetes... I hope you'll check it out...

Juggling Flaming Chainsaws... It's my specialty, dontcha know?

Selling my heavier girl clothes

2008-05-10T14:38:00.000-07:00

Good Lord... I never thought this day would come. But, I've been smaller than these clothes for close to a year now... So - I'm selling my heavier girl clothes. These are all really cute and really stylish. Please check it out if you're a girl size 14or 16 - or send friends that might be interested... Help me get some more things that actually fit... LOL...

Click the photo - or here...

http://shrunkoutclothes.blogspot.com/

F**k you, Diabetes.

2008-04-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

I hate you tonight.

Because of what you do to people.

I hate that another of my Aunts is in the hospital after having a stroke. We know that you're the cause.

You've already taken one of my Aunts. Do you really need another???

So f**k you, diabetes. I hate you.

For someone... Somewhere...

2008-04-07T13:57:00.000-07:00

You might know who you are...

Me... I'm a part of your circle of friends
And we, noticed you don't come around

And me, I think it all depends. On you.
Touching ground with us.

I quit. I give up. Nothing's good enough for anybody else, it seems.
And I quit. I give up. Nothing's good enough for anybody else.

And on being alone.
It's the best way to be. When I'm by myself it's the best way to be.
When I'm all alone it's the best way to be. When I'm by myself.
Nobody else can say.
Goodbye.

Everything is temporary, anyway.
When the streets are wet, the colors slip into the sky.
And I don't know why, but that means you and I are.
That means you and I are.

I quit. I give up. Nothing's good enough for anybody else, it seems.
And I quit. I give up. Nothing's good enough for anybody else.

And on being alone.
It's the best way to be. When I'm by myself it's the best way to be.
When I'm all alone it's the best way to be. When I'm by myself.
Nobody else can say.

Me... I'm a part of your circle of friends
And we, noticed you don't come around

Hai lai lai la lai lai la lai

- E. Brickell

Quick Update

2008-03-31T09:44:00.000-07:00

Endo visit this morning.

Stats:

Weight - down another 9 pounds... Holy crap. I'm disappearing. Not really. But I'm within 6 pounds... (6 pounds!) of the weight I felt the best at in my down and dirty days!

A1C - Up a little. Not surpising. Though disappointing. I'm at 6.5% which is still decent - but up. Not surprising because I've been a half wit about logging. I test, I just don't log and when I don't log, it's easy to ignore the high blood sugars... Also, I've cut out lows almost entirely. So this is not terrible news, but I want it lower.

Cholesterol - Up. By quite a bit. I think I'm case in point for the new Zetia study that's out. It's just not working. So, we're going to try a very low dose statin to see if I tolerate it. Blah.

Thyroid numbers look OK, but not great.

All in all, not a bad visit. And I must say. I LOVE my endo. He's laid back enough that I don't feel scolded when I leave his office, but I wish he were just slightly more of a hard ass. I feel like I got away with something...

More later on blogabetes. See you around!

Six Words... Only Six??

2008-03-25T12:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Kerri - as always...

The challenge: write a six word memoir.

The(ir) ma(th)(p) of (ho)me is compl(icated)(ex).

Here are the rules:

Write your own six word memoir;
Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like;
Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere;
Tag at least five more blogs with links; and
Don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

OK, I think most have been tagged, but I'll draft Kassie, George, Sandra, Autumn, and Paige.

Debates - J for Jailbait

2008-03-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

You know the internal debates we have? Eat that. Don't Eat that. Exercise. Don't Exercise.

That food is jailbait. No it's not. Ask it for Carb ID before you eat it. No need to do that... Just make a SWAG.

That's what today's post at Blogabetes is about... Please check it out.

I.... Wish....

2008-03-17T15:42:00.000-07:00

I hope you'll check out Blogabetes today. Where I Write. And I Wish.

And the alphabetical onslaught continues....

2008-03-12T12:40:00.001-07:00

With H... And some How-Tos at Blogabetes today.

Please take a moment to check it out....

Reflections

2008-03-07T09:56:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago, I attended a play at the Theater where I work with Julia, Kerri, and Shannon. It was a great day. And an excellent play. I've been meaning to write about it for awhile.

Please check out Blogabetes for a start. More to come - probably here...

The Gym and Maintaining Balance

2008-03-05T10:17:00.000-08:00

Hope you'll shoot on over to Blogabetes today for a new post!

It's all about balance.

And a little about G. For Gym.

Meter Codes

2008-02-28T10:14:00.000-08:00

Meter Codes...

When I'm low you vex me.

Can you someone please explain why the meter companies can't just make all their strips have ONE code?

Pick a random number - I don't care - a 4 would do. And 4 is my least favorite number.

Just make it so I don't have to remember to change the code. Every. Single. Time.

I know, I know, there are machines that have no coding... But those machines aren't covered by my insurance company. So that sucks.

How about just picking 4? And making it the number?

Can someone do that please? Me and my 32 mg/dl would be forever grateful.

Not About Diabetes

2008-02-22T11:33:00.000-08:00

It's not about diabetes today over at Blogabetes. It's about freedom. Please take a look.

The Eyes Have It...

2008-02-19T14:40:00.000-08:00

Cliche' I know.

If you want - take a look at the newest in the A-B-C series at Blogabetes...

If You're Inclined...

2008-02-15T11:52:00.000-08:00

Dash on over to Blogabetes and Dine on today's Dish... Featuring the letter D. Desperate or Growing more Determined??

Cannula and Small Things

2008-02-13T07:08:00.001-08:00

Please check out a post today at Blogabetes...

About the small things that represent lives lived well.

In Honor of My Favorite Basketcase

2008-02-11T11:17:00.001-08:00

A post over at Blogabetes today... B is for Basketcase. Or Blood sugar Basketcase...

Simple as ABC

2008-02-08T10:28:00.000-08:00

I've got a post up over at Blogabetes... One in a series of twenty-six... Starting with A-ccountability...

Hope you'll check it out... Here!

Suss-Awesome

2008-02-06T16:24:00.000-08:00

A thank you to Chris at the Big D - who sent me this in a Sussy!:

I am a BIG Ramones fan, but this is one disk I'd never purchased for myself - so I'm thrilled to have it!

Thank you!

And a note to my Sussy recipient - who shall for now remain nameless - I had to re-send your sussy as it came back to me the first time. It was sent priority mail today... Apologies.

And more gratitude - to Amylia and Beth for setting this up - so much fun!

Just One Word

2008-01-24T07:15:00.000-08:00

This post clepped from Beth and Amylia, who are both incredible, by the way.

The rules:

Use one word to describe me … just one single word.

Leave it in my comments.

Then post this message on your blog and see how many strange and interesting things people say about you!

How Do Our Bodies Do This?

2008-01-10T14:45:00.000-08:00

Please check out my post today at Blogabetes.

It's about a low bloodsugar - but it's more about the marvels of the human body.

I apologize

2008-01-06T15:15:00.003-08:00

For the short hiatus. I'm back, for now.

Friends welcome here.

Good sort of bad....

2007-12-21T22:11:00.001-08:00

It's a good sort of bad when you realize pretty much all of your bras and underwear are way too big for you.

I have to shop for those kinda things soon.

That is all.

Address Collection

2007-12-20T20:28:00.000-08:00

So... I am bad at sending Christmas Cards. And have resorted to the idea of sending Valentines this year.

Would you guys please email me your addresses? I need exact places to send these things.

Thank you. N

This Time Of Year

2007-12-19T17:58:00.000-08:00

This time of year brings a flood of feeling for me. Both joyous - you know, watching my nephews and niece open their Christmas surprises and not so joyous - missing those who've gone and who I miss with all of my heart.

My Nana Helen is one of those people. She was amazing. She gave me so much in the time I had with her. She's pictured below. And in the other photo with her, my Papa Bob (she married him the summer I was born, the photo is from that day) and my Grammie Carrell. Grammie Carrell could play poker, smoked like a chimney and had the most incredible sense of humor. I remember at my brother's high school graduation dinner, when my dad got his wallet out to pay, she cracked the whole place up saying "I saw the moths fly out of there."

What I wouldn't do to have them back.

Love-Hate

2007-12-08T19:21:00.001-08:00

I had another insulin pump failure last weekend. Ugh. Thankfully, Smiths Medical bent over backwards to be sure that I got a replacement quickly. Big kudos to them for incredible customer service.

Anyhow, the failure got me thinking about the Love Hate Relationship I have with this device, and I write about it at Blogabetes today. Hope you'll check it out.

New Job, Excitement - and Notes

2007-12-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

So, I started my new job on Wednesday. Some glitches put my start off from Monday. Let's just say - parking is an issue in the city and I got caught off guard when my new employer told me - the day before I was scheduled to start - that they don't provide parking for their employees. After much ado, I decided to take the job and muscle through a winter of a 4/10 of a mile walk in the morning and evening. The recent cold has made for a chilly, but certainly energizing jaunt to and from work! The neighborhood isn't exactly ritzy, but I've found I'm alright, given the number of people who make the walk at the same time I'm making it.

On my first night at the theater - I attended the Opening Night performance and after party for Kathleen Tolan's The Memory House. The play is amazing - with Anne Scurria and Susannah Flood giving mind-blowing performances and our Artistic Director Curt Columbus keeping the focus on their performances with a spare set and costuming... I wrote the following the day after -

There was something electric about this performance for me. I could feel it from the opening scene. A mother coming home, with memories of her daughter running through her head. She is strong but she is weary, she is resigned to her circumstance but filled with regret. It could have been my mother.

In the first moments of dialogue, I am quickly reminded of my angst-ridden teenage self. Filled with loose, quivery energy that had no place to go - feeling on the verge of something amazing, but stuck in a self that felt too-small, too-confused, too-undefined.

And I recall an intense, heated conversation had with my mother during my sophomore year of high school. My mother, insistent that I'd go to college. And me, all-knowing teenage goddess that I was, insistent that college wasn't for me.

"I don't want you to make the same mistakes I made." She screamed.

"I don't want to make YOUR mistakes, mom. I want to make MINE. Now leave me alone. Please." I snapped back, wheeling out the door and slamming it shut behind me.

Last night at the theater found me back then. On that spring afternoon. With my mother and her love for me spilling from her every pore - wanting for me every advantage she never had. And me and my want to struggle - to be something, anything but loved by my mother - someone that seemed so ALIEN to me, so different from me.

And now, all these years later, brought back. Sitting in the theater and realizing the gifts my mother gave me then - and the ones she gives me now. The sacrifices she made those years ago, the hurt she shouldered when this person she loved was nothing but angry with her, judgmental about her choices, and disgusted by her advice. How did she keep on? How did she get past my tantrums and the hurtful words I tossed at her? How did she stay confident in me, even when I disappointed myself? My mother gave me the gifts of patience, true unbridled love, and most importantly - the persistent demand that I make the most of myself. And my mother gives me nothing less now - and continues to demand nothing less of me.

What happened for me - and for others, I'm sure, during last night's performance, is the true beauty of theater and the arts. Theater can bring us back to starting points - or transport us to a place we've not yet seen. It can make us think in new ways about where we've been - or where we'd like to go. It can give us time for self-reflection and change our perspective altogether. Excellent writing and amazing performance can make us see, with extraordinary clarity, that our experience, though it belongs to us alone, might not be unique. Theater makes us realize both the common strings we share - the ones that we pay little attention to but that tie us to the people in our lives AND the strings we've never seen because they're not a part of our consciousness - but that cleave us to people with whom we thought we shared nothing.

So the scoop is this. I am stoked to be in an enviroment that feeds my creativity. I am floored by a boss who values my opinion and relies on me to be the expert when it comes to the Annual Fund piece of our fundraising efforts. I'm thrilled to be working with an amazing staff - in my real debut as a supervisor (I've only ever had one staff member work with me at a time) - I'm hoping I make as cool a boss as I think I do... (LOL).

And I am privileged to be working for a crown jewel of the Theater Arts scene.

In a word - this is AWESOME!

Think on Things

2007-12-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

I've answered this question several times in comments, but folks don't seem to be getting the answer.

If you aren't an invited reader at Think On Things - and you would like to be - you need to send me an email address so that I can add you. The email address should be affiliated with google, gmail, or blogger.

More Here...

2007-12-03T16:59:00.000-08:00

A little more here...

Think On Things

Thens and Nows and Babies

2007-11-28T09:16:00.000-08:00

Over at Blogabetes today, I've got two posts up.

One is about Diabetes "Thens and Nows."

The other is about people who relate every life-decision, physical ailment, or mood swing I have to diabetes - and about baby-having the person with diabetes.

Please swing over and check them out!

Another Something Here...

2007-11-26T12:12:00.001-08:00

Think On Things - again, this one is mine.

Wow....

2007-11-23T05:57:00.000-08:00

A piece of prose today by a new author at Think on Things. Beth contributed this piece - prepare to say "WOW," among other things.

At Think On Things

2007-11-21T16:22:00.001-08:00

A new poem by yours truly.

Oh Yeah!!!

2007-11-21T10:31:00.000-08:00

I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving! And land up in the recliner - passed out on joy and turkey.

More here - if you're interested.

Food! Oh, how I love thee... And hate thee...

2007-11-20T12:53:00.000-08:00

Over at Blogabetes today, I make a compromise with a piece of cake. I'm sure the cake would have been yummy, if it hadn't come with a side of calorie and insulin-dosing guilt.

Immersed in Talent

2007-11-19T20:21:00.001-08:00

Please drop by Think on Things and have a look. There's another incredible author - and another incredible piece up there.

Seven is my lucky number

2007-11-19T19:41:00.000-08:00

Gina tagged me to do the following! Thank you, Gina.

1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post

I erased the last rule because I am kind of lazy.

My 7 random facts:

1. I have never driven a stick shift. Well, I have never driven one with any kind of success. At all. I have tried once or twice, but landed up bucking back and forth and getting nowhere.

2. When I was six, I refused to eat any white food. No milk, no white cheese, no white bread. Nothing white. During this time, I developed an affinity for mint chocolate chip ice cream.

3. I lived in a converted chicken coop for eight months.

4. My favorite song ever is She Talks to Rainbows by The Ramones. I'm not sure why, but it is my favorite. It's probably the MOST obscure Ramones tune, but it's awesome.

5. I believe that in a past life I was either a drop of water in a raging sea or some kind of sea creature/animal. Those connections you can't explain - I have one with large bodies of water like rivers that open to the sea and oceans.

6. My first REAL word was "jail." I was seven or eight months old when I said it. Shortly thereafter, I started speaking other REAL words. But, "jail" is what I would say when my mom asked me where daddy was. My dad was a cop, thankfully, not a perp. When I say REAL words - I mean other than mama, dada, poop, etc. Jail was the first word I said in real response to a question. Or so my mother tells it.

7. Also when I was a kid (I'm stuck on the past tonight), my father took us out in a canoe onto Lake Winnipasaukee in New Hampshire. When we were out in the middle of the Lake, he thought it might be funny to shout "shark." I promptly exited the canoe, jumping in to the Lake. With the "shark." I wouldn't have made it through Jaws. Yeah, yeah... I wasn't that bright. But it's a funny fact - no?

I tag: Kerri, Kit, Shannon, Amylia, Rachel, Julia, and Hannah

Another New Voice

2007-11-18T08:18:00.000-08:00

For those with access, another new author makes an appearance today at Think on Things.

Please visit.

Extraordinary...

2007-11-14T14:15:00.000-08:00

Don't forget to scroll down and read this!!!

But, when you're done... Take a look at Think On Things. Kit's post there yesterday got me thinking that I've left it to itself for too long.

Today got me thinking about these lyrics from Fiona Apple:

Do I so worry you, you need to hurry to my side?
It's very kind
But it's to no avail; I don't want the bail
I promise you, everything will be just fine

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

And the lyrics got me writing. So, please check it out!

World Diabetes Day

2007-11-14T09:43:00.001-08:00

As so many of you know, today is World Diabetes Day.

I've written a post over at Blogabetes - here's a sample... Please check out the rest...

I am on the floor of my brother's living room. My three year old nephew in my lap. He is reading to me about elephants and tigers, complete with animal sound effects. His body presses against my insulin pump, which in turn presses against my hip. I had almost forgotten that diabetes sits with me, even in these gorgeous, irreplacable moments. An unwelcome resident of my body, my mind, and my heart.

A little later, my nephew comes out of his bedroom and stands in the middle of the kitchen. He has a block tucked into the waistband of his pants. He pulls it out and starts pushing imaginary buttons.

I ask "What are you doing, Milton?"

"Giving my medicine, like Aunty Coley," he responds

MORE

A New Voice

2007-11-13T17:42:00.001-08:00

A new voice - at Think on Things.

Do take a look.

The Ties That Bind

2007-11-09T10:51:00.000-08:00

My mom made the blanket pictured above. It reminds me of all of you. The people that come here and read this blog. Those of you who write about your own experiences. All of you, your own unique and lovely stitch in this online community.

I hope you'll take a look at this post over at Blogabetes. It's about you - my invisible internet friends - and how very real you are to me.

Take THAT - On misconceptions, shoes, free things, and thank you...

2007-11-08T10:55:00.000-08:00

When I was fifteen, I had a bully inform me that I'd never be able to wear heeled shoes without my feet falling off because I had D-I-A-beeedddeeesss (yes that's how he said it, the idiot) Even then, I knew not to try to inform those who were that ignorant - so I let it go.

But my obession with having shoes - of all kinds - and with wearing heels - just grew and grew from that day forward. It was my defining foot moment. Maybe other women out there had a moment like that - when you knew that you were destined to own more shoes than you could ever, ever need.

Most of my friends know about my shoe fetish. And recently, one of them, made at least one wild dream come true. Read: designer!! Famous designer!!

The shoe fairy presented me with these three pairs of shoes (well one pair of boots, two pairs of shoes) And yes, readers, one of those shoe soles says "Prada" - GAHHHH! Prada shoes - $600 shoes - for FREE - GAHHHH! They are all gorgeous.

So, thank you, Lil. You are truly the greatest. And my feet love you for proving that bully wrong. Kisses and hugs galore come your way in my imagination. Now, fly here, so I can do it for real.

Check them out: